Thursday, May 20, 2010

Shitebook

First of all, hello to the one person reading this. Congratulations, you're officially a complete saddo. Go get some friends. Secondly, I am having some Facebook-related difficulties. In that I think it's shit. Honestly, the amount of ignoramuses on there puts George 'Dubya' Bush and Forrest Gump to shame. (Yes, those 2 names are interchangeable).

Let us take the case of the England shirt...now let it be known that I hate flags. I do not have any feelings for a piece of cloth with a drawing on it. I have no opinion. Do not care. So when people get all agitated about it, I think it's...hmm...what's the phrase. FUCKING RIDICULOUS? So, these groups appear about 'foreigners making us indigenous English people take off our England shirts because it offends them, fuck them right, they can go back to their country, this is my country etc etc...' Of course, as I am able to articulate and spell a lot better, that was probably not a very accurate example. Come OOOOONN. Do you REALLY think anyone gives a SHIT what fucking shirt you're wearing? Get your head out of your own (incredibly fat and lardy) arse for a moment and think about it. While you're at it, stop reading tabloid newspapers, they're killing your brain cell (I am presuming you just have one...?). All this overly patriotic bollocks, I dislike patriotism as well as a matter of fact. See Bill Hicks..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fIG4fokmdk I agree wholeheartedly, and it's funny.

I think the point I'm trying to make is that I am still astounded about how many moronic individuals occupy this planet and am feeling very sad about it. You may not agree with my sentiments, quite frankly I do not care, I am absolutely fed up of uneducated people spouting garbage like this.

To end on a somewhat happier note, I am very happy generally, at present [:)] but this stuff really gets me down. *SIGH*

Here is a song I like, not a big fan of hers, but this is cool, good ol' William Orbit! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E4-9yKTv_I

Chaz x

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Spring

Spring is in the air! The sun is out, the trees are going to start growing leaves and shit and already I see people trying to pretend it's Summer by wearing shorts in the hopes they'll get a tan. I still find the whole 'trying to get a tan' thing amusing.

Anyway, I don't really have anything to moan about; my new year of being positive is working so far. I usually become incredibly bogged down with stupid stuff, or with other people's issues or with something else I can't change. What's the point I ask?

Ah well...I have a good feeling that 2010 is going to be a good one and anyone who thinks otherwise can (kindly) f*ck off .:)


Saturday, February 13, 2010

I know this is old.

This video is still so great to watch. Ok Go -Here it Goes Again. A video with treadmills! Genius!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I done a blog.

I do neglect this ol' blog thingy-me-jig.

What's been happening in my world? Hmm.

I cannot wait to see Nick Griffin on Question Time, as it gives me somewhere to channel my anger. (I am often angry, and often for no discernible reason so it's nice to shout at a racist man on TV). I read The Daily Mail online most days to check what crap they're writing and especially to check out the reader comments. My heart sinks when I read so many green arrow-ed comments saying things like 'The BNP stands up for the 'indigenous population', they're preserving 'our heritage' blah blah. My instant reaction is to say 'FUCK OFF', but then I realise that's the kind of inarticulate thing a BNP supporter might say. I don't understand it, at all. We're all in the same boat on this planet, we're all going to end up dead, we might as well just get along with each other and stop listening to the crazy rants of a googly-eyed, scrotum-faced racist man. Sadly, not everyone agrees with me. I think we can all agree that he is googly-eyed though.

I'm off work sick, during what is arguably my busiest week in months. Why couldn't it have been next week!? So you can picture the scene; I'm lying on my sofa, pyjamas, surrounded by tissues and with a very sore nose. :( I'm accepting any sympathy coming my way. Although, in the grand scheme of things, a cold is the least of anyones worries.

I like this song at the moment.

This post summarises how my brain tends to work...in no particular order. I have the sudden urge to shout out 'SOMEBODY GET A SPONGE' and with that I go back to blowing my nose. *blows* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O01kDSs-xzA



Monday, March 2, 2009

The Nuts are Watching

I'm just eating a brownie (yes, I'm being healthy), and noticed on the back it says 'Made in an area where nuts are present'.
I just have this really weird mental image of these life-sized peanuts standing around trying to distract the workers at this 'Brownie Factory' from doing their jobs properly. Or maybe the nuts are their bosses. Nah, that just sounds silly doesn't it! Nuts wouldn't make good managers...
Speaking of brownies, I had a dream that I was marginally overweight and it scared me so much I walked to work this morning for the exercise. I listen to my dreams dammit!

I'm blogging off, and be aware, there may be nuts present at YOUR office without your knowledge.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Shallow Musings

Yes, due to phenomenal public demand (just the one person actually), I have decided to write a new blog post!
Now, what have I found out about myself since my last proper post? If I'm being honest, absolutely nothing, but let me think.

  • I think I need anger management classes or SOMETHING. I have an incredible ability to fly off the handle and be really really horrible. And then regret it half an hour later. See, I'm not all bad. Which moves onto my next point.
  • I am far too impulsive - this could get me into serious trouble. What if one day, I decide it might be a good idea to rob a bank, in the nude, brandishing an axe? I imagine others might find this marginally appealing...oh come on, you'd be curious, don't lie. My impulsivity extends to me saying or doing things I later think was just insane. Maybe I AM insane.
  • I need to stop being insane.

Oooh, who watched the Oscars? Not me...moving on...


Everyone MUST watch Benjamin Button, I know some people found it a drag, but I don't understand why...come on ladies, Brad Pitt at least should be enough to hold your attention. It is well worth the wait just to see him in all his stunning glory...there is one scene when he's wearing a white t-shirt, sun-glasses on, he just looked like heaven. In fact I had a Brad Pitt dream the night before, maybe that was why I got especially excited. Not in that way (really).

Friday, January 23, 2009

Stuff and things

Firstly, I completely forgot I had a blog. Secondly, I don't have anything to write really. Thirdly, I don't expect anyone to read this ANYway. So I suppose I'm kind of talking to myself here.
I will probably write more stuff in here in the near future, if I can be bothered. Not much to say really.
Well, this was nice.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Not-so-paranoid android

Yes that's right I'm actually in a good mood, which makes it difficult to say something with biting cynicism. Damn me and my good moods, I'm sure the 2 people reading this will be horrified.

I have just come to the realisation that writing an online blog must be the product of some narcissistic urge within; I mean why on earth would one think your archetypal humanoid would want to read one's thoughts on life unless one thought they held some rather insightful information? The elite guiding the masses on matters of life.
Alright! My realisation might have been that I actually think this about myself, but it's still a valid point.

My other point is that Thom Yorke is amazing. Fact. I mean it's universal law. There is a song on his album called 'The Clock', and it's just the oddest song, but it's quite beautiful. Therein lies his genius (and the rest of Radiohead's genius); turning the odd into the beautiful. That's no mean feat, considering most odd people you meet are just odd.
Unfortunately I would describe myself as odd most of the time - I exist in a dichotomy of conflicting thoughts and emotions; one half is arrogant, thinks the average joe public is an idiot and generally has a misanthropic view of the world. And the other half...hmm...I'm actually not sure about that anymore!

Monday, February 18, 2008

The Muse

It's just dawned on me, that if I will be writing my 'musings' here, it would help if I had a 'muse'. I supppose that's difficult as there is almost nothing that inspires me generally. I have become very cynical about people as of late. Is it really the case that people are selfish, egocentric twits their whole lives? I hope not, there is a small part of me that still has faith in humankind, albeit a very small part.
Hmm, perhaps I should just give up and listen to Muse; great band, I recommend 'Origin of Symmetry'.
Now back to the matter at hand, must find a muse. Did Shakespeare have this much trouble?! Yes, I just compared myself to Shakespeare; because I'm worth it. Sounds like L'Oreals new advertising campaign.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentines

Oh joy, it's that overly commercialised, distinctly unromantic and (if you're single), depressing day of the year again.
To be honest, I have always been in two minds about Valentines Day; yes it's great if you have been harbouring a secret affection for someone, it's the perfect excuse to make your feelings known. On the other hand, do you really want to receive a stuffed toy, half a dozen roses, a cheap bottle of wine and a half hearted attempt at a romantic evening? Well, the latter sounds rather appealing at present actually, woe is me.

I actually signed up for this blogging malarky a while ago, but to be honest couldn't be arsed to write anything - yes I really am THAT dedicated - and it's been so long since I actually wrote 'creatively'. Not that one should expect anything creative while reading this; I suggest you leave now and pick up a Dostoyevsky novel for some deeper reading material if you are.

I suppose I should introduce myself to the World of Bloggers, so here are a few factoids about the Chaz.

1) I am far too cynical for someone so young.
2) I am a music and movie fan; actually I am a former musical elitist, I went through a phase of refusing to listen to anything that didn't have guitars or feature in the NME. I have since learnt that there are gems to be found in plenty of musical genres, and also that the NME is just a bit shit.
3) My favourite actor is Christian Bale; watching 'American Psycho' only reinforced this, when often the opposite is the case, for most sane people anyway.
4) I have recently become obsessed with the US version of 'The Office', especially Jim Halpert. I do find myself wishing that he worked in my office, then remember that it's just a TV show and he's not a real character, at which point I further embrace my future standings as a 40 year old spinster.
5) I think Facebook was better when students/alumni were the only groups of people who could sign up. It has now become over-run with the ignoramus masses, who need silly applications to keep themselves amused. Luckily, I didn't have to send 20 friends an invite to blogger.com before publishing this post.
6) I am scared of Conservatives; no honestly, I break out in a cold sweat just thinking about Margaret Thatcher, although to be fair, I imagine she has had that effect on people her whole life.
7) I have become disillusioned with religion and am now an atheist, after spending practically my whole life in Catholic schools. There is a witty and ironic statement in there somewhere, if only I could find it. I also become perplexed when watching programmes about fanatics of any religion. They scare me in a way Freddie Krueger never could.
8) I like blueberrry muffins
9) I hate commuters. I do not care if you earn £250,000 a year, drive 3 Jaguars and a Range Rover at the weekends, are the Global Director of a multinational company and have 5 properties abroad, just get the f*ck out of my way. *Edit* If you had that much money, you probably wouldn't be using public transport. Just for the record, I do not commute, as I live rather centrally in the grand city of London. I also hate bus drivers who arrive when they feel like it; it is rush hour -there is no time for slacking.
10) I am notoriously fussy about two things in life- spelling and men. More on those in latter posts I presume.

So, that was my introductory post, if you're still reading, congratulations because I have actually fallen asleep reading it back. I wonder if someone could actually 'sleep-type', do they wake up in the morning and find that they have e-mailed their boss in their sleep telling them they think they have terrible BO and need to sort their bad teeth out. I mean it may be true, but that might not be any comfort to the poor sleep-typer. This has become gibberish, as most of my rants do, so I shall be cutting this short abruptly.